Tags:
Victoria Wood
Comedy
character
Northern
Laura Ashley
Wallpaper
Home Decor
Adult
Script:
right I'm your official guide now before I show you around I'll just fill you in on a few details as we call them as you can see we're standing in the hall of the Howarth Parsonage where Howarth's parson the Reverend Bronte lived here with his daughters the famous Bronte sisters now alas no longer with us but they have left us their novels which I've not read being more of a Dick Francis note now if you pass by me into the parlour mind me vaccination this is what was known in those days as a parlour somewhat similar to our lounge type sitting room affair in modern terminology I'm afraid the wallpaper isn't the original period to which we were referring to it is actually Laura Ashley but I think it does give some idea of what life must have been like in a blustery old Yorkshire community of long ago
Tags:
Childrens Book
Soft northern
Script:
My house has chicken legs. Two or three times a year, without warning, it stands up in the middle of the night and walks away from where we've been living. It might walk a hundred miles or it might walk a thousand, but where it lands is always the same. A lonely, bleak place at the edge of civilisation. It nestles in dark, forbidden woods, rattles on windswept, icy tundra and hides in crumbling ruins at the far edge of cities. At this moment, it's perched on a rocky ledge high in some barren mountains. We've been here two weeks and I still haven't seen anyone living. Dead people? I've seen plenty of those, of course. They come to see Baba and she guides them through the gate. But the real, live, living people, they all stay in the town and villages far below us.
Tags:
Jane Austen
Mix of characters
British Novel
RP
Script:
Mr. Bennet was among the earliest of those who waited on Mr. Bingley. He had always intended to visit him, though to the last always assuring his wife that he should not go. Until the evening after the visit was paid, she had no knowledge of it. It was then disclosed in the following manner. Observing his second daughter employed in trimming a hat, he suddenly addressed her with, I hope Mr. Bingley will like it, Lizzie. We are not in a way to know what Mr. Bingley likes, said her mother resentfully, since we are not to visit. But you forget, Mama, said Elizabeth, that we shall meet him at the assemblies, and that Mrs. Long has promised to introduce him. I do not believe Mrs. Long will do any such thing. She has two nieces of her own. She is a selfish, hypocritical woman, and I have no opinion of her.
Tags:
Lower Class
Northern.
Hard Northern
Script:
I'm fed up of sitting here waiting for him. It'll be another hundred years at this rate. What a life. Get up, feed every baby in the house, do everything else I can without cash, while he drinks it. Drinks it, drinks it, and shoves nothing my way except his fat, hard hands in bed at night. Why do we do it? Why do I stay? Always scrimping and scraping. He just takes the gyro and does what he wants with it. That's why I have to borrow. Borrow off everyone. I am like a bony rat, going here, going there, trying to sniffle something out. They help me. Oh, I'll bet you they ate me, really. God, I can't wait till the kids are older and I can send them.
Tags:
Upper class
Period drama
Script:
She and Donsonnie are head over heels in love. It started when she asked me if it would be wrong for her to write to him. First I said yes, and later I said no, it would be all right, as long as she showed me both sides of the correspondence. Then I arranged a meeting. But Donsonnie was so paralyzed with chivalry, he didn't lay a finger on her. All his energies go into writing her poems of great ingenuity and minimum impact. I tried to ginger things up by telling her it was Jercourt her mother intended her to marry. She was shocked enough to discover he was a geriatric of 36, but by the time I'd finished describing him, she couldn't have hated him more if they'd been married ten years.
Tags:
Upper Class
Posh
Prologue
Comedy
Script:
How this vile world is changed! In former days, prologues were serious speeches before plays, grave, solemn things as graces are to feasts, where poets begged a blessing from their guests. Armed with keen satire and with pointed wit, we threaten you, who do for judges sit, to save our plays, or else we'll damn your pit. But for your comfort, it falls out today. We've a young author and his first-born play. He prays, Bless me, what shall I do now? Hang me if I know what he prays, or how. And t'was the prettiest prologue as he wrote it, but the deuce take me if I hadn't forgot it. O Lord, for heaven's sake, excuse the play, because, you know, if it be damned today, I shall be hanged for wanting what to say. For my sake, then. Oh, but I'm in such confusion. I cannot stay to hear your resolution.
Tags:
Gentle northern
Monologue
Talking Head
Script:
Sometimes, when I go to visit my mother, I sit on the bus rehearsing conversations in my head. What shall I tell her today? How I finally lost those ten pounds she was always telling me were putting an extra strain on my heart. It's a matter of discipline, Julia. Or that I'm thinking of buying a new car. One of those mini Clubmans with the doors that open like barn doors. Whenever I see a mini Clubman, I always imagine a pig lying in straw in the boot. My mother wouldn't think that was amusing. She'd think it fanciful and silly. In her car, she kept travel suites in the glove box and a road map of Britain on the parcel shelf.
Tags:
American
Script:
I farted in yoga class. It was so loud, and I didn't die. My heart started pounding, but it did not explode. I thought I would be devastated, but I was not. Instead, something unexpected happened. I laughed. At first, a little giggle, and then a full-blown belly laugh. In fact, I laughed so hard that I farted again, and again, and again. I could feel people staring, but I didn't care. I thought I would care. Feel my palms growing clammy, my chest tighten. No, I felt a lightness, wonder, awe. Who knew I had so much air inside me?